"That's How I Do It"

There it is. That WORD… Respect. It’s more than a song. Of all the words in the English language this word is probably the most ignored word in my opinion. Why do I say that? Well, truth is it’s because, people don’t practice what the word means on a regular basis. People these days believe it’s all about them, and screw the guy next to ya. In this world, Respect is a four letter word. What does the word respect mean though? Well, Dictionary.Com defines “Respect” as “One’s Esteem for, or sense of, the worth or excellence of a person; a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.
In other words having a positive characterizing thought for someone or ones abilities; giving someone “props” internally and showing it outwardly in your speech, your demeanor or your attitude. Sounds pretty easy right? Then why is it so hard to practice it daily? Well, for now let’s move on shall we? Respect is HUGE in the Bible as well. I found more than eleven verses in the Bible that talk/teach about Respect. That’s more than the Commandments themselves! What that says to me is God really hates it when we do not show respect for each other, and you know it’s a really baaaad thing when God doesn’t like something. Plus, as “cut and dry” as God is, it would seem to me that not showing respect for each other while living on this planet, could result in us being sent to hell after we die, and who wants that? Yeah, Respect is a HUGE thing in the Bible.

Another display of the lack of respect towards people is in our children. Kids these days demand respect. They do not feel it is something that is earned. Not only from each other on the playground or in the classroom, but they demand it from their parents as well. The days of the child sitting in the shadows while mom and dad run the house and make all the decisions is all but gone. Now-a-days, the household is considered by some to be some type of miniature government, and all laws and ordinances are voted on by the townspeople for acceptance. In some homes, gone are the days of “I said it, its law and that’s final.” Kids these days want to be included in as much as possible in household operations and not giving them that kind of “exposure” has the ability of telling the child “stay out of our business” or “you can’t handle all this pressure”. It can be defined by the child as a form of disrespect. I myself hold the strong belief that the child, since he/she is a minor as designated by the courts, is not qualified to make decisions that affect the workings of the household, and therefore is required to leave it to the parents to decide what is best for him/her and the household at large, and if my kids don’t like it, that’s tough. When they start paying the bills, then they can make some decisions, but until then, it is what it is. Is that disrespectful? Or maybe it’s a dictatorship? I call it firm parenting. I stand a lot on what the Bible teaches about children and the respect factor. Ephesians 6:1-3 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (2) “Honor your father and mother” (3) “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” To me, that is an instruction for respect towards the parents by the children. The child is commanded by God to show huge respect towards the parents, plain and simple. They are to do as they are told. Period. But again, let’s move on.

What about someone that has a disability that impedes his/her execution of showing and practicing respect? What do you do then? There are people in this world that struggle with the showing of respect towards others not because they don’t feel like it or it will get them nowhere; no they actually don’t have the ability to, because of a “wiring” issue in the brain. This is where it gets interesting for a parent too because kids are not exempt from this issue. It can actually get pretty stressful if you’re a parent that has the same beliefs that I have and you have a child with this type of disability. The episodes of disrespect can seem overwhelming and without the proper teaching and beliefs, your choices are critical to the outcome. See, I also believe that as a parent, we are responsible for teaching respect to our children, and if the child has a disability that causes the child to struggle sure, more patience is needed. SURE IT IS! Having more patience is important. But now imagine expecting your kid to know and show his/her respect factor to you and literally are getting the exact opposite on more days than you get correct behavior. What then? What do you do (as a parent or step parent) when your kid cannot execute the proper respect factor towards you or anyone else for that matter and believes you owe him/her that respect instead? Sure, when I describe this, I’m not saying that this is an all-day everyday thing, I mean because it’s a wiring issue in the brain, there are times when you can (and do) receive a moment of respect from your kid, even if he/she struggles with it more often than not. But how do you weigh that though? Does the moment of respect outweigh the moment of disrespect you receive? Are you supposed to write it off because you love your kid and you feel sorry for him/her? Is this where patience is a virtue? Do you turn the other cheek when you get disrespected by your kid because of the disability and he/she show’s no remorse for their actions or words? My answer to all of this is no, it does not. Just because I love my kid, doesn’t make it less offensive and I I’ll tell you why.

It doesn’t because I believe people (kids included) can learn to control what they struggle with and teach themselves to do what is right. I believe that not controlling your behavior because its “part of your disability” is an excuse. I also do not accept the excuse from advocates that say “he/she can’t because he/she is not wired that way”. That to me is bullshit. I do not accept the thinking that the receiver of poor behavior is required to change or adjust his/her way of life or thinking, so the person serving the poor behavior can comfortably live his/her life without any consequence for their actions because of a disability. No I believe it’s the other way around. I believe the person serving the disrespect is required to learn how to exist properly in society and if there is a moment of poor behavior due to a lack of effort to learn a better way to control it, then that person is issued a consequence for his/her action. Yeah I believe we all have to make changes in this world but you see, the word “All” includes everyone. “All” is not a “One-sided” designation. You don’t solve the problem by having the receiver change his/her ways. It helps later on down the road but it’s not the end all to the issue of disrespect. Yeah I will also admit that it’s harder or can even be impossible for someone who is completely mentally incompetent or even retarded to make these life altering changes but they have people to take care of them and run interference for them; but what I’m saying is people with one arm learn to live life with one arm. People with Down syndrome learn to work with their disability and do very well with their independence. People who realize they are alcoholics learn to live life sober. Reformed drug addicts learn to deal with life without looking through a bong pipe, meth pipe, straw or syringe. People with anger issues learn tactics on how to better define their stresses and make the needed adjustments to be able to cope with their anxieties, so they can exist in the world comfortably and nonviolently. All of these people do it with the existence of their disability in full tow. That never goes away.

I knew a woman that made a poor choice when she was 14 and became confined to a wheel chair because of it. Yeah the reason was really small and she didn’t have to do what she did, but the result was she became paralyzed and is confined to a wheel chair without the use of her legs to this day. She had to re-learn how to do the things that you and I take for granted, like using the bathroom, getting dressed, driving a car, etc. and because she re-learned and adjusted, to this day she is a successful woman working in California’s Government system. She adjusted and learned how to overcome her disability so she could exist in society. And also let me say, that even animals re-learn how to cope with their disabilities. See, if you realize that you have a problem with a certain area because of a mental/physical disability, one that you would use every day to exist comfortably in society, (like your ability to execute your respect factor towards others) then you should have the drive to LEARN and develop ways to overcome that hurdle. Not having the drive or even your own self-respect to realize and admit that you struggle in a certain area; one that affects everyone around you at some point in your life, is only setting yourself up for a long and drawn out road of pain and anguish and you bring it all upon yourself. You set yourself up for failure. You end up getting the “scraps” of life’s rewards rather than the 1^st‘s.

The world I live in has all of this that I have described. I deal with grown adults as well as kids every day that display more disrespect than they do respect whether it be in the form of quality of life decisions that go against family values or just all out “screw you” types of disrespect because of some “veto” I executed. I live with it all. Yeah there are the times when I get some good, but it doesn’t outweigh the bad, because there is a smidge more of the bad than there is good and that’s really sad. Plus as a people, we tend to gravitate towards the bad in our lives quicker than we do the good. The upside to it all is that I also live my life knowing that one day everything will fall in line. My cup is half full. I have struggled with that position for years. I have realized that there is coming a day where everything I have been preaching on my soapbox will suddenly “click” with the townspeople and everything will fall into place. That’s a day I am looking forward to and that’s what gives me the drive to get up every day and go one more round with life. Until that day though, I will continue to preach my beliefs and methods, and they will learn. As a parent, my kids will learn that “Dad doesn’t play when it comes to disrespect. My friends will learn that I am not just preaching this for my health. And lastly, I will learn that I am not perfect by any means and need to relax a little bit. People in society need to grab hold of this area of life I call the “Respect factor”. We all need to step back, and realize that we may have difficulty showing respect towards others and that we need to adjust and learn a better way to show it. Failure to realize and overcome this hurdle in life, will only result in all of us securing our destinies in a place that I’m sure we would rather not be destined for.

You know, writing is more than a strong interest to me; it’s a way for me to supplement my income while I am out of work. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing, but I love it even more when I’m paid for it. There’s a lot to be said for receiving payment for expressing your opinion, telling a story, or bringing the facts. It just feels good to get paid to write. For me however, my writing is far from paying the bills. At this point my writing pretty much keeps gas in the car, or milk in the fridge. That is when I am getting paid for it. See, right now, I am what they call a “Freelance writer”. I pretty much write what I am asked to write, and usually get the minimum amount of reimbursement for it if anything at all. One of these days, I am going to be a solid salary paid writer for someone, and then you watch how big the smile gets on my face.

Time keeps creeping by though, and as much as I am searching for a regular in my industry, there is not much that I am finding. These past few weeks, I have applied for one or two positions in my Industry (which is Facility Maintenance and Operations by the way) which is more than I can say I have in the past year. There is just not much out there right now. So you see, if you’re unemployed and you’re reading this, you can be rest assured that you’re not the only one out there is not finding anything right now. There’s a bunch of us who are “not finding anything right now”. It’s not ok either. Analysts say that the longer a person is unemployed, the further he/she gets away from their industry and sooner or later they become “unqualified” in their industry. You know what that means? That means if things keep going the way they are going, sooner or later I will be unqualified to work in my industry of choice. I’ve thought about going back to school. Not to stay educated and “up” on my industry; no that’s part of the beauty of my profession; pretty much anyone that knows how to turn a screwdriver can do it.

No, I thought I would find a new trade and educate myself in that and then go to work with a newly educated mind in a brand new industry. Wanna know what I chose? No not computers “per say” but Smartphone tech and programming. I thought if I knew how to program smartphones, and even maintain them, I could work for companies like RIM, iPhone, Nokia or Motorola and all I needed to get there was an education on the subject. To my surprise, I needed a 5 year commitment. 5 Years? I don’t have that kind of time. Besides, right now most of the graduates in that industry are young, fresh out of college kids looking to be the next Young Billionaire. Nah, I was out of my realm. I needed to re-think my situation, and writing became my plan B. It really works out well if you have a plan B. It’s something you can fall back on just in case your main plan fails you. Having a plan B means that you are always thinking. Whether its cooking, or building birdhouses, ANYTHING that brings a paycheck can be a plan B. Not having a backup plan is not a good thing. I think that’s what the “B” in the phrase “plan B” actually means. It means “Backup plan. This is why it is important for kids to stay in school. You stay in school, get the good grades and go off to college. Then a plan B is easy to have because of the education you get. Look, there are a lot of things we all wish we could change, the fact is that at this point, it is what it is and we all need to make the best of it.

Our children however are not at that point yet. You owe it to your kids to make sure they stay in school and get that education. If you have kids, stay on them, tell em to buckle down on those books, get that education. Then, after it’s over and they have graduated, let them decide what they wanna do. Things will change. You watch. The next generation of kids that are about to enter the world of adulthood, are going to bring about change when it comes to employment. Pretty soon unemployment won’t be 12% across the nation; it may be only 6%. That’s ok. That’s half and that’s huge. The next Generation of adults will bring a huge change to our situation. I know one day I will find a new job, either in my field of expertise OR in writing; I just keep looking. In the meantime, I’ll continue to write and hopefully someone will see it and want more because, That’s How I Do It.

Well, here we are again, the holidays. Thanksgiving is just about here, and after that it’s Christmas one more time. Boy, the year has flown by it seems like. With These 2 holidays fast approaching, it seems like the best time to remember how and why we celebrate. During these 2 holidays, people tend to go out of their way to spend as much money as they possibly can on gifts in hopes that the receiver of these gifts will get so excited that they actually explode right there in the living room. To the giver, the gift has to be so impressive and so “off the friggin chain” that the receiver cannot even form the words to say “thank you”. IT feels like a major accomplishment when we achieve this. Kids are the same way to a certain extent. I have seen kids give gifts to their parents or their friends and the stress level the kids are going through because they want the gift to be special is soo harsh it’s almost unbearable for both sides to endure. This is NOT what the holidays are about people! The holidays are about being with family in a relaxed setting, partaking of the mountains of food that are brought to the table for consumption throughout the day. The holidays are about the guys sittin around the flat screen and watching football, or hockey, or whatever sport happens to be on at that time (usually football) or standing around the radio in the garage smokin a few nice cigars, while the ladies congregate in the kitchen and go over the last year and review what has happened.

The holidays are about seeing all the new babies and meeting the new boyfriends or girlfriends etc. etc. Kids on the other hand either spend it outside doing nail biting tricks on their skateboards or stay indoors playing the latest first person shooter video game, and when the food bell rings, it’s a stampede to the table for the spot next to the turkey, or ham, or some other cooked meat product. Ah yes, the holidays! Let’s take a moment and realize one thing though; it’s not the price of the gift that makes the happiness. Remember the ol saying; “money doesn’t buy happiness”. No, the price of the gift is NOT what makes it special; it’s the thought of how much you enjoy that family member, your mom, your dad, or brother or sister. It’s how much you love them that make’s that gift more of a representation of your appreciation for them. For me, since I am a dad, my kids don’t have to buy the most expensive thing in the store for me to be happy. For me, the best gift they can give me is their unprovoked effort to do something on their own, without the help of someone else for me that makes it worthwhile for me. Effort; that’s what I like to see. Kids don’t have to try real hard to impress mom and dad in our house. This year, my family has vowed to NOT go over the top with gifts this year. It has already been done. Last year we spent a huge chunk of money on gifts for the family. This year though, with retirements being started, and economics being the way they are these days, the cost of a Christmas gift is kept to a minimum and we instead “splurge” on the family time together. Oh yes, and Food. I cannot forget the food.

There will be lots and lots of food. Take a minute and think about it. Your gift to that family member does not have to be expensive to be special. It just has to be from the heart. Instead of going broke on a gift for someone, this year concentrate on spending time with the family. Have an engaging conversation with your grandma. Do something worthwhile with your bro or sis. This year, for Thanksgiving I am relaxing with my family, and all I want for Christmas is another dose of some good ol fashioned family time. It’s not too early to wish everyone happy holidays, so that’s what I am gonna do. Why? Because man, “That’s How I Do It”!

I’m always amazed at the quality of life people live by. It’s amazing to me how much a person will endure or live with all in the name of being grown and “on their own”. For some, it’s all about the experience. Some live the way they do so they have something to look back on and remember how “shitty” their life was before “so-in-so” happened. Others will live the quality of life they live because they are too lazy to make the necessary upgrades that would make their lives better. Then there are those who say “if it aint broke, why fix it?” meaning, “I’m happy with the way things are”. Why people would hang on to that is beyond me. For the experience? CA’MON! I myself lived a self-destructive lifestyle until it blew up in my face. Maybe that’s what it takes for people to realize that there needs to be a change in one’s own life. Maybe treading water in a pool of shit is ok until someone pushes your head under and holds it there for a minute. Well, when it all blew up for me, I didn’t have many choices as to what I could do next. I could have waved my middle finger at everything and everyone around me and disappeared or, I could have decided right then to walk away from the quality of life I was living and live “differently”. Obviously living differently meant playing by the rules, and seeing what was right and then doing it. Trying to bend the rules so I could still drink or smoke or whatever I was hooked to at the time was not in the plan. I’m here to tell you, I made the right choice. It’s a shame that other people don’t follow suit. I see, hear, and read all the time about people who suffer because of the choices they made and the right choice was starring them in the face. Hearing the words “I shoulda…” or “Damm if only I woulda…” starts to turn into the preamble to the excuse that is supposed to “release” you of fault for the results you now have to deal with. Read these words; YOUR LIFE IS YOUR FAULT.

You and only you are to blame for the quality of life you have and live day after day after day with. You have no one to blame for your quality of life but yourself. If your always pointing the finger in someone else’s direction or blaming something else for your predicament then you’re lying to yourself, and you show signs of insecurity. Take responsibility for your actions. ALL OF THEM. It sure would be a wonderful thing if everyone had their shit together but we all know that’s not reality. There will always be someone who is suffering somewhere. Is it you? Are you the one who is tryin to get over on the system by hustling some bull-shit game on other people? If so, how’s that workin for ya? Not as good as it could be if you played by the rules I’m bettin. For a lot of people, it’s going to take hitting rock bottom before they realize that the way they are doin it isn’t working and it’s time for a change. For others, they can see the light at the end of the tunnel and they know, they know it’s a train heading their way and they need to get off the tracks. And then for some, there are those who have family members who have been through it. The “been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, the bumper-sticker, been to the website, the Facebook page and the Twitter page” family member. In fact, I am willing to bet, that there is one of those types of family members in your family. Is the “window of opportunity” closed for your family members? What I mean is, have you burned a bridge or two with your family and now cannot go to your family for help? Whose fault is that? Be honest with yourself now. Remember, only you, God and Jesus know the REAL truth of it all. If you don’t like the way you’re livin, if you’re tired of always ending up on the losing end of everything, take a look at your choices and your plans. How – are – they – workin – for – you?

Have you ever had this happen to you? You meet someone and think he/she is the greatest thing since sliced bread. You decide you want to build a life with this person, so you start dating. The dating is going really well, you have your place and he/she has theirs. As things progress, you find that you are spending more and more time together so you both decide that its time that you live together.  So you put in your notice to move, pack up your things, and strike out with your new soul mate to start a life together.

Now you’re living together and you get to see the different things that make up what your mate is all about. You now see that there is a drinking problem. You also see that there really is no motivation to make life better or easier, you find out that the person you have chosen has another side and it’s not the kind of side you want to be a part of but you have grown to love this person so it only makes it harder to break up, because you have honor and want to value the promise you made to build a life with this person. As time goes on, you are seeing and learning more things about your mate that you disagree with. So much that now the both of you are arguing. You find out that your mate is controlling and can be aggressive when he/she has been drinking. Now you really have yourself in a situation that you wish you had never agreed to. What do you do? You obviously love the person your with, but you’re not enjoying the time spent with each other anymore nor are you willing to compromise your principles on how you live your life. The arguing gets worse as time goes on and now you are exchanging insults between each other. Is this the life you wanted? Hell no! Then what are you going to do?

This is what a lot of people are going through every day. You’ve heard the stories; Girl has the job. Yeah it’s not the greatest but it pays the bills, and boyfriend doesn’t work, but he has a drinking issue that has him on probation for a DUI, and yet is controlling to the point where he tells her what to do with the money that she earns. He won’t go out and get a job and he can tell you every reason why he can’t work right now or is just about to start a really cool job, but not today. Or even this.  Guy has the job, and girl is always spending the money to the point of being broke all the time, both of them are addicted to pain pills and/or cocaine, there is no trust between the two of them and yet they look so “together”. She cheats on him constantly with whoever she can and he cheats on her when he is out on the job and claims “it’s all business honey”. Or even this; Guy has the job, Girl has a job, He spends all of his check and she has to run the house on her income. He is always out with the boys, while she stays at home with their kid. He does nothing but sit around and watch TV instead of helping out around the house. See, the way I see these scenarios is that all of them include people who suffer from this generations parental teachings.

Back in the day,  our mom’s and dad’s worked 40 hour weeks so their kids (us) could have food on the table, clothes on our backs, gas in the car, and a solid education. They raised us to be productive members of society. But there were other parents that would have rather shut the screaming kid up and give him the dam soda, or send the kid outside only to be ignored, so the kid ends up running with the wrong crowd. But then there’s the situation where it’s a single parent, trying to make ends meet, while keeping the kids home long enough for a nice hot meal. This person can’t be everywhere so a lot gets missed and you if you’re a single parent, you think of new ways to deal with life as a single parent. But more often than not, the core issue I see more and more is this one; Two parents, raising two kids, they pour their time and energy into what it takes to raise their kids, both parents work, and watch their children grow into adult hood only to see one (or both) suddenly break left and make poor choices because it’s easier to do the “Beg, Borrow, and Steal” method of living than it is to actually put in the labor of finding and keeping a job, or finding and keeping an apartment, or creating and sticking to a budget, or even saving money so you can actually have a house of your own and raise your own kids to be (you guessed it) PRODUCTIVE MEMBERS OF SOCIETY.  Nah, more and more I see that the kids of this gen’s rearing would rather not work, be on welfare, sit around and drink and smoke, and if they get into a tough spot, cry to their parents to bail them out.

This is why it is so important to take the time to do the right thing. No one wants their kids to grow up to be losers, yet that’s what is happening more and more every day. I’m telling you, if you don’t take the time now with your kids, you will later when they are in jail or laying on a cold stainless steel slab in a morgue. I’ll tell you like this; the world doesn’t give a shit about you or your kids. Your kids are not special in the eyes of the world. Your kids are not even a number in the world unless they mess up bad enough that they go to jail and get a number just for them. You and your kids are the “all singing,all dancing crap of the world” (sorry, just had a Fight Club moment there).You got to be firm and direct with your kids. None of this “on the fence” bull shit. It’s either “YES” or “NO”. Not “maybe”. There are no “maybes” in life only “YES” or “NO”.

I tell my kids, “Never put all your money on something you are not 100% sure about”. “Never bet the farm on a high risk situation”. Your kids are going to look you square in the face and say “I know dad” or “GOSH dad, don’t you think I know what I’m doing?” or even “Quit nagging at me” so what do you do then? Tell them; “NO you don’t know child, that’s why I’m telling you” or “NO child you don’t know what you are doing, I do. I’ve lived longer than you; I know what’s going to happen” or even “Quit nagging at you? Who the hell do you think you are talking to”? Yeah, it’s called Tough love in some camps; in others it’s called raising a child.

It’s a crying shame when you hear about a person who gets mixed up in a relationship that the thought was a sure thing only to find out that it isn’t and they are too deep into it to get out. Well Lemme tell you, you’re never in too deep, and you always have a choice. If you are in a relationship and it’s not what you expected or you are in afraid for your safety, get out of it. Leave him/her. You can do that. It’s not shameful to up and bail on something like this IF you have exhausted all of your options and resolve that it just won’t work or he/she will not change. DO yourself a favor and get out of that failed relationship and find someone who has more integrity than the last person. We as parents are charged with raising our kids to be Productive Members of Society, and you cannot do that effectively if you have someone in your life that is “Non-Productive” My wife and I are very proactive productive people, and our kids are headed in that direction as well. They are because we both do not pull any punches. They know exactly what is expected. They know they are to be held accountable for their actions. They know all of this because “That’s How I Do It”.

What motivates you? What is it that causes you to push hard to reach your goal? Do you even have a goal? There is a lot in this world that we want. Just how hard we are willing to push to get it remains to be seen. You can even have more than one goal, but unless you are not motivated, you will never reach it. SO, what motivates you? Well, for me, one of my motivations is “Quality of life”. I have such a “want” to have a better quality of life; I am willing to push myself and the people around me to get it. Yeah, even the people around me play a specific role in me having a better quality of life overall. When I see that someone in my “Clique” is not being all they can be, I push them to try harder. When I see that they are slacking off in one area or two, I push them to get back on track. Why? Because in the end they win and so do I. I reach a better quality of life even if it’s a small little ledge of achievement from other people. Trouble is, a lot of the people in my life don’t see it the same way I do, so occasionally there will be what I’m going to call a “Snagg”. It’s kind of like when you push something and it “snagg’s” on something and you end up butting your head against it. So, what is the “snagg” I run into? Well, for some, I call it “Lack of effort”, and for others it’s called “negative polarity” meaning no matter how hard you push, you will be pushed back just as hard. Think of a magnet. When you have two magnets, one positive and one negative, and you bring them together, they stick together immediately. They both (for all intents and purposes) see the outcome the same way. But when you have two positives or two negatives and you try and bring them together, nothing will allow that to happen. They will be pushed away simply by their “polarity”. Sometimes there will be times when both myself and who I am reasoning with believe that we are both “positives”. Naturally this can create a problem amongst each other and pretty soon there is a problem between us. It doesn’t matter who it is either. When was the last time you tried to push someone to do better and they challenged you by NOT doing better? That’s a polarity issue. If you have been through this I’m sure you know what I’m saying then.

These days though, along with a better quality of life, what motivates me is my satisfaction in doing what makes me happy regardless of what others may think or say about it. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the freedom to express ones opinion on any given subject, everyone is entitled to their own opinion; but that’s pretty much as far as it goes. And, just like everyone else, I am free to agree or disagree depending on what the opinion is and what my beliefs are. Truth is, I get satisfaction these days knowing that I am my own boss. No one really tells me what to do. I run my life; no one else does for me. “But Chris isn’t that what you do to other people by pushing them for your own satisfaction“? Well, as a matter of fact, it is. No one is really fond of the “Do as I say, not as I do” mentality, and that’s how a lot of people see me. Well, in a couple of weeks, I am going to be turning 46 years old, and as I turn a year older, I also turn a page in my life that will surely be an exciting time for me. Hopefully, for my family and friends as well. There will be some big changes, some small changes, some additions, some deletions, and most assuredly some new outlooks on how I will live my life and how I look at other people. One thing I can tell you that will disappear is the “Do as I say, not as I do” mentality. It’s two-faced, so that one is going to be deleted. I see this as a good thing. Others may not. Others may think; “oh he won’t stick to it” but that’s their opinion. But the eventual outcome is what motivates me to see this to the end, so yeah I will stick to it. For this, my 45^th year I can honestly say, I have learned a little bit about a lot of people. I have learned the true meaning to the saying “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”. What that means to me is; no matter how hard you preach, no matter how much you lecture, no matter how loud you scream, no one will do anything unless they are motivated on their own to do it. I also learned that what goes around comes around; this is otherwise known as Karma. Karma can suck pretty badly so there will be some changes in that area as well. SO, what about my goal of a better quality of life? Well, not relying on anyone else but me to provide a better quality of life is the best part of reaching that goal. My quality of life right now is pretty good. I know it can get better, but it’s going to be me that gets me there; not anyone else. Please do yourself a favor and take a good hard look at how you are living your life. You might find that your motivations could be what is holding you back.

1 Corinthians 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

In other words, God will not give you any more than you can handle.

That’s How I Do It.

What I am about to talk about, people could disagree with. Let me start it off by saying this; If you were born between 1940 and 1970, you will agree with what I am about to say. IF you weren’t, then you may disagree with what I am about to say. Here it is. KIDS OF THIS GENERATION RELY TOO MUCH AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEIR PARENTS FOR THEIR OWN SELFISH NEEDS. Now before you get your panties all in a bunch over this, let me break it down for you a little more. See, when I was old enough to think for myself, let’s say 10 yrs. old, I knew that I was the responsibility of my parents, which meant that anything I got, I got because my parents got it for me. Clothes, food, medical care, dental care, housing, birthday, Christmas gifts, whatever it was, back when I was a MINOR, my parents provided for my wellbeing. Then when I turned 18 everything changed. No longer were my parents responsible for washing my clothes or even buying my clothes for that matter, they were not responsible for me any longer (by law). See, when you turn 18, you are an adult in the eyes of the law. That means it’s YOU that decides your fate. IF you want a new car, YOU earn the money to buy it. If you want those fabulously new high heels, then YOU worked a job to pay for them. Your parents no longer had dominion over you. That’s where my Rant is at these days. Our offspring continue to believe and they campaign and campaign for the cause that it is the parents “job” to make sure that their kids are provided for even after they turn 18. As parents we are to just hand over the keys to the car so that they can drive where ever and whenever, and if they crash it or get a ticket in it, the parents are required to foot the bill for repairs or fines in ANY amount. The children of this day and age, believe that because they think it is just “so hard to do it on your own” we as their parents are the solution. Well, I DISAGREE. My parents told me when I turned 18 that they were done providing for me and that it was “up to me how I turned out from here on out”, and boy, was it a struggle. I learned though and now I know what I have and what I don’t and I’m ok with it all. There have been times though that due to unforeseen circumstances I too have had to go to my parents for a loan and I am blessed to be able to say they helped me out, but see, I don’t make a habit of letting shit happen all the time. I don’t put myself in a position that I cannot guarantee a safe and positive outcome. I mean, I know people that put themselves in a bad spot just so they can be in the drama of it all. To them I say “get a life” (and I say it often). So don’t get me wrong, being able to ask for help from your parents and being able to get it is a good thing, but it’s not a way of life. Your parents are not a Bank-&-Loan office.

Kids these days beg for money from their parents with no promise to pay it back; oh, they tell you they will pay you back, but they don’t. That’s all part of the sales pitch to get the money in the first place. “Tell them you’re going to pay it back because it shows responsibility“, but in reality, they aren’t going to pay you back. What’s really bad is when you are pitched an idea for a new cell phone by one of your kids and they tell you that “all you have to do is open the account, get the phone that they want, and they will pay the bill”, and then YOU end up paying the bill for the next 6 months because one thing after another seems to happen with your kids right about the time the bill becomes due. You end up suffering somewhere else because you had to adjust your budget to pay the bill that is really in your name. Who wins in that situation? The kid talks you into a new cell phone, and knows that they cannot afford it “but that’s ok my parents will pay the bill for me” so they pitch you a story, or is the parent in a better position because he/she expressed their love and helped out their kid? I mean, they got to have a phone right? Seems like the kid took advantage of the heart strings and good will on the part of the parent for their own selfish needs. Seems to me the kid is the bigger loser for basically lying to the parents and defaulting on their promise rather than the parent being the loser for not showing some strength and saying NO. From where I sit, this goes on a lot. What I’ve realized with kids is that the stronger or firm-er you are with them, the more they gravitate towards you and the more they respect you. I for one could care less if my kids respected me or not, only because I am not out to impress them, but it does show that special love when you can see that your kids have much respect for you.

As much as I say NO to my kids, and as much as I “harp” to my kids (and their friends) about responsibility, I still get the “I love you daddy’s” and all the “fan mail” that goes along with it. SO, ok, you see that you might have something similar going on in your home, how do you fix it? Well, look at what you have first and foremost. Your kids have your number (basically). They know exactly what to say and how to say it in order for you to give them what they want, so the first thing you need to do is CHANGE YOUR NUMBER. I’m not talking about your phone number, however if you feel you need to take drastic measures like that, you can try something like this . When I say “Change your number” I am talking about how you do things. Instead of saying “YES”, say “NO” and keep on saying “NO” until you start to see the requests get fewer and fewer, then throw your kids a bone and help them with something small. Yeah sounds harsh but hey, remember what JG Wentworth says, “it’s your money, use it when you need it”. If your kids get themselves into a spot, I say let them get themselves out of it. Why should you always come to their rescue?…they are grown right? I’m telling you, handling yourself in this way is not going to go over well. You’re gonna be looked at as “mean”, “uncaring”, “hateful” but no one said it was easy. Eventually, you will see your kids start to live their own lives and become more and more independent. Isn’t that the goal?

My kids know that if they seriously cannot work out what they need to work out, that they can come to me and talk to me about it. They know that if there need to be money thrown at the situation in order to come to a solution, they had better pony up some of the cash, because I WILL NOT carry the entire note. They also know that they do not ask me for money, I “offer” it. That way they are left with either accepting it (with conditions) or not accepting it. Either way, the kids get to decide their fate. That way, they got no one to blame other than themselves if it doesn’t work out. That’s How I Do It.

Post Script: Thanks mom & dad for helping us with our car .

Ladies and Gentlemen, Bin Laden is dead. The United States, with President Barak Obama at the helm, sent a team of Navy Seals to a location in Pakistan where they were certain that Osama would be laid up and at the Presidents order, they took control of the location and “dealt” with Osama Bin Laden. This is a glorious day for the United States of America and we should be proud to be an American. There are a lot of different emotions that are running the streets of America these days since the news broke about bin Laden. I for one am SUPER cocky about my Patriotism and my love for the United States right now. The way I am looking at this is like this; YEAH! Fuckin A! USA, USA, USA! I’m the first one to say “You can run, but you can’t hide”. Right now if anyone objected to how I feel, I think I would definitely set them straight. Like I said, the emotions right now with the American people are different and widespread but one thing is constant, we are all relieved that there is NO MORE OSAMA BIN LADEN. The attacks on the World Trade Center and all the other embassy’s that Osama claimed responsibility for attacking, were (to be “politically correct”) extremely tragic. Here we have one man, who with his mouth, convinced a tribe of people to be his cult followers, and thus created a network of solders called al-Qaida and that had only one goal; Inflict terror on other people that did not think like they did. Additionally, Osama also convinced this group of followers that the only way to get to heaven was to kill Americans. Can you believe it? What did we do that was so bad that this one person came to this insane conclusion? Freedom? That’s the only logical conclusion I can think of.

Oh and is it Just Americans? Well, no actually. Turns out, He also had a “hard-on” to kill Muslim’s as well, and to add a little spice to his cause; it was revealed later down the line that even Osama himself was a Muslim! AMAZING isn’t it? That rings a similar bell in my mind from my history book. Sounds like Adolph Hitler. See, Hitler was the same way. He preached his word to people and created the Nazi movement and proclaimed that all Jews were “unclean” so Hitler ordered the eradication of Jews and later it was revealed that even HE (Hitler) was a Jew. Anyhow, I digress. That’s kind of why I am writing this right now. People need to remain focused on the truth of the situation and the facts surrounding this historic event. The truth of it all is; Osama bin Laden committed atrocities on the people of the WORLD, including his own people for the sake of his own insane opinions and beliefs. He murdered thousands of innocent men, women, and children in America and his own country for no sane reason but to exploit the fact that he could do it, and by doing so, he sentenced himself to death by taking responsibility for all of the various acts of terror around the World. After 9-11, The United States vowed to find bin Laden and bring him to justice, and after 10 years of searching, that solemn vow came to fruition. In fact, bin Laden was declared dead by our President on the anniversary of the day it was proclaimed that Hitler was dead as well (May 1, 1945). How Ironic. Plus, after the news broke that Osama was dead, he was buried in accordance with Muslim law but no country would take possession of his body to bury him, So the United States stepped up and said, “OK, since we have him anyways, we’ll do the cleanup” and they buried him at sea.

Here’s what is interesting about that; He was dumped into the same body of water as the Pharaoh’s army from the Early Dynastic Period before 3000 BC; before Jesus Christ. That Pharaoh killed anyone who worshipped God instead of him and his army went after Moses and the Israelites and ended up dying in the red sea. So there are some pretty insane people lying at the bottom of the red sea right now (Pharaoh’s army and Osama) Ironic isn’t it?

The United States is defiantly a GLOBAL SUPER POWER and we are not liked by many different countries. I for one can live with that—we intimidate other countries. GOOD. Makes you think twice about attacking the United States of America I think.

One last thing; The United States finding and killing Osama Bin Laden is also (to me) a confirmation of a famous quote by Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto the mastermind behind the attack on Pearl Harbor during World War II, where after the attack he said; “I fear all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and filled him with a terrible resolve.” Osama attacked many different American controlled and inhabited buildings, and in do so; he awoke a sleeping giant (The United States of America) and filled him with a terrible but necessary resolve.

(REMEMBER, you can run, but you can’t hide forever, WE WILL FIND YOU).

Flex our Muscle

I can bet any amount of money that you can’t last longer than a particular promise. There is no way anyone can last longer than this one particular promise I am thinking of because this promise has no “expiration date”. You know what promise I am talking about? No? Awww, come on…I’m talking about God’s promise of heaven and us getting there IF we put our faith in Jesus Christ.

There seems to be some confusion on how long the Salvation coupon is good for. See, when you finally make it to the alter and you pour your heart out publicly to Christ, and you make the big decision to step out there and ask for Christ’s forgiveness, once you are forgiven…that’s it. You’re done. You’re forgiven and God has a place for you in heaven waiting for you. It’s just that simple. There is no “catch”, no fine print, no “o.k., but if you blah blah blah, I’m gonna take it back”…there is none of that. Once you’re forgiven, YOU’RE FORGIVEN. Now that doesn’t mean you can go on your merry way and start Sinning like a crazy man knowing that God has forgiven your sins…oh no….when you do what the church calls “get saved” it means you now live a cleaner life and you get to know Jesus with prayer and Bible reading, Etc. My Pastor used to say, “Christians are not sinless, they just sin less”. Get it? You’re not gonna be perfect, you never were to begin with so why would you be after you are saved by Christ? We’re not perfect until God gives us our new bodies. You just live a cleaner life on Earth, and do stuff that you know is right by Jesus. Remember the ol anagram…WWJD?

That’s an excellent question when you ask it. “WWJD…What Would Jesus Do”? That’s what Christians ask themselves everyday! So this whole expiration date idea on Salvation is nonsense. Like I said though, don’t get any kind an idea you can run amuck out there tearin up the town. You do that and Jesus is gonna see that you weren’t serious when you dropped your drawers to him and poured your heart out, admitting all your transgressions and what have you. Also, don’t get any kind an idea that you need to be plowin the fields “sewing the fields” with your good works either. Doing that shows you know nothing about faith which in turn means you’re being selfish because you are not educating yourself about Jesus with the Bible. Come on…its FAITH! Just believe! YES EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVENT SEEN IT. Quit doing and doing and doing so you get all these “good works coupons” that you think your gonna get and turn into the man at the pearly gates for a better house or a cooler car in heaven. It’s not gonna work like that. I look at it like this; in Heaven there is a book on you. This book is you. It’s your life. It’s what you did, what you said, how you did things, why you did things, and all that. It’s a pretty detailed book. I’m sure it has pictures and everything. There may even be this “heavenly YouTube” in heaven where we can all see videos of your life, your memories, and everything. There’s that and then God goes over the book with you, and calls you out on the stuff you did that did not honor him or Jesus Christ. He looks at all this and asks you, “Why should I let you in to my heaven”? What are you gonna say? Remember, lying is pointless because God already knows your gonna lie. God already knows how it ends for you, this is all just a formality for you…God doesn’t even have to do the “formality”…you’re HIS creation, if he is done with you, HE’S DONE. So, now let’s think about it when you’re a saved child of God. Same book, and then the book is opened, and what does God see?….What do you see?…Well, you still see everything you did…God see’s a clean page though. NOTHING WRITTEN DOWN. IT’S BLANK! Oh yes. See when you asked for forgiveness, God erased all the transgressions through your whole life until there was nothing but a clean page. And every time something popped up on the page, it was deleted instantly. That’s what I’m talking about!…that’s Sin forgiveness baby!…ALL SINS, PAST…PRESENT…FUTURE…GONE! That’s how long Gods promise last. It last for an infinite number of eternities. So, after reading this post, you might be wondering why I chose this topic today. Well, there needed to be a clarifying on this topic because there are a lot of people out there that still believe even though you’re saved, you still need to work work work so God accepts you and that just isn’t true.

The Bible is the word of God…people read it and they interpret it in an “illogical” way, drawing the wrong conclusions which are basically based on the flesh and fleshly thinking. If you read the Bible with the Lords Spirit in your heart and mind, you get a true-er understanding. One last thing my Pastor always said, was this; he used to take a chalk board, and write the word B I B L E on the board in BIG letters, and he would say, out loud “BIBLE…..BASIC…INSTRUCTIONS…BEFORE…LEAVING…EARTH”. And as he was saying all that he was filling in the rest of the words he was saying, spelling them out underneath the letters B I B L E. My Pastor used to tell the congregation that in a basic explanation, THAT’S what the Bible is…B(asic)…I(nstructions)…B(efore)…L(eaving)…E(arth). Do what you need to, to get this all cleared up for you. Talk to a Pastor, and get your “Vertical-Alignment” all worked out, then your “Horizontal-Alignment” is nothing but an anagram…WWJD.

That’s How I Do It